Once Every So Often
by Prettywitchiusaka
Summary: She didn't have these dreams very often, maybe once every few months or so. But it didn't change anything. Every time she had them, it made her realize just how pathetic she really was. My first contribution to Royai Smut Week 2018!


Once Every So Often

by Prettywitchiusaka

Riza Hawkeye took her time trailing kisses down the neck of her partner, pleased to hear the moans that escaped his mouth.

She kissed his chest while her fingers traced his abs, worshipping every facet of his muscular torso. Exactly as she always wanted to do on the rare occasions she got to see him shirtless.

Soon his lips found hers again and their tongues intertwined in a chorus of moans.

Riza sighed against his lips and cupped his cheek. Even though she could still hear that nagging little voice in her head telling her this was wrong, she'd never been so happy to be with someone in her life. Of course, she knew what she was doing was wrong. But one thing lead to another and here she was; her blonde hair down and her military uniform sprawled all over the apartment, making love to its owner.

Her mind was drowning in a blissful fog as she kept on making out with her partner, more than delighted to have his strong arms wrapped around her small frame.

The Lieutenant broke their lip lock and took a moment to stare lovingly at her Colonel, Roy Mustang. The man who she knew as her superior and friend. The man that she secretly loved and would do anything for.

The man whom, by all accounts she should not be with. But how could she ever deny him anything? Especially when he said " _I want to kiss you just once…May I?_ "

And just like that, she became his.

She went to kiss him again, but Roy cupped the back of her head and gently flipped her onto her back. Now he was on top, staring down at her. Riza was overjoyed.

In a million years, she never imagined him being so gentle with her. It made her smile.

"Something wrong?"

She looked into his beautiful obsidian eyes, happy to see that warm and gentle smile on his face. The smile she so rarely got to see, the one she wished he would show her more often.

"No…," the Lieutenant said. "I just wish we could stay like this forever…"

"Awe, don't say that," he said. He cradled her in his arms and flashed her that famous smirk of his. "We haven't even gotten to the fun part, yet."

She chuckled. "You're so bad…"

"Oh, you know you love it."

"That's true."

Without saying a word he gently slipped his tongue into her mouth, making her sigh as she kissed him again. His kisses were as determined and passionate as he was, as she had often hoped they would be.

She slowly ran her fingers through his midnight hair, wanting only to continue exploring his mouth with her tongue. But that didn't happen.

Instead, he broke their lip lock. She stared at him, confused.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

Right now, she could see the look in his eyes. It was guilt ridden, even somber, like he felt ashamed to be even taking joy in making love to her.

No, that wasn't it she realized. He was ashamed of **himself**.

Riza knew the demons that haunted his mind, the nightmares and the bloodstained hands he couldn't escape from. That despite his goal of redemption, he still believed himself unworthy of genuine happiness.

But how could he even think that, she wondered? Roy Mustang was certainly arrogant and manipulative, there was no denying that. And yet he was also intelligent, passionate and above all loving.

In her mind, he deserved to be loved, too. To be worshipped and taken care of, so that he could wake up in the morning feeling happy to be alive.

She was determined to give him that much, especially after they'd gotten this far.

The Lieutenant steeled her eyes into his and said "Of course I am."

"Are you?" he asked. "You know I'm a murderer, Riza…You deserve better than-"

Before he could even finish that sentence, she placed a finger to his lips, making his eyes widen ever so slightly.

"Shh…It's okay…"

"But-"

"Roy, I'm only here because I love you…I want to make love to **you** …I don't want anyone else…"

The Colonel gave her a warm smile that made her heart sore.

"I'm glad to hear that…Thank you…"

"Don't mention it…," she replied. "Besides, I should be the one that's afraid of things not working out between us…"

"Why?"

She shied her gaze away from him.

"Because I know you…You'll just probably have me for tonight and then move on to some other women, tomorrow."

The Lieutenant suddenly felt his hand cup her cheek. That was surprising enough. But then she heard him say "There won't be any more women, Riza…" She gasped and stared into his eyes. "I love you…," he said. "My heart and soul is yours…"

As Riza allowed herself to fall into his piercing gaze again, she found that there was nothing but love in his eyes. Love for her and only her.

She nearly teared up.

"Really?"

He smiled.

"Would I be here with you right now if I was lying?"

Without wasting another second, she grabbed ahold of his face and kissed him hard. Thankfully, this gesture made him relax and kiss her back, instead of making him retreat as she feared it would. He wrapped his arms around her, and she moaned as they made out some more.

After awhile, he broke their lip lock and began making a chain of kisses down her neck.

Riza was already in heaven, even whimpering when he sensually licked her neck. As crazy as it sounds, it felt like her body was melting from his touch, his lips, even his moaning.

But then he cupped her breast in his hand, and his tongue made contact with her nipple. He started licking it slowly, sensually, like he'd never be able to again after tonight. It was unlike anything she'd ever felt before…and she loved it.

She tilted her head back onto the pillow and moaned, completely lost in not just a state of pleasure, but of love for the man lying on top of her.

"Roy…," she whispered in ecstasy.

As if on command, he came back up to lock lips with her, proclaiming the phrase "I love you" with every kiss he stole from her.

Her moaning continued as he kissed her neck again. Then he started kissing her face…and then she started feeling a warm, sticky substance on her cheek.

She giggled. "Roy…," she said. "Roy, stop that…"

But he wouldn't; he kept licking her cheek, for…some reason. And she kept laughing. "Roy, that tickles…"

When Riza opened her eyes, she saw a pair of black, happy looking eyes staring her down. Only it wasn't Roy staring at her. It was Black Hayate, her new puppy.

Riza sighed.

Once again, it was all a dream. She was in her apartment, alone with no one next to her in bed. And certainly not her handsome superior officer.

She didn't have these dreams very often, maybe once every few months or so. But it didn't change anything. Every time she had them, it made her realize just how pathetic she really was. Pining after a man who probably saw her as his friend, and nothing more.

BARK!

But then she turned too face the happy, panting puppy and smiled. Sitting herself up on the bed, she picked up the puppy in her lap.

"At least I have someone to wake up to…"

The puppy barked, which Riza took to mean he agreed. She smiled at the little bundle of fur and patted his head before she got up to get him some fresh food.

…

Lieutenant Hawkeye walked through the hallways of Eastern Command, looking as confident and in control as she always did.

It was another day of paperwork, another day of watching over Colonel Mustang and being irritated by her male colleagues antics. But that was okay. They were like family to her, and she'd put up with a headache if it meant working with her friends.

As for Roy? Well it was another day of masking her true feelings for him, not that that was anything new. She'd gotten pretty good at it over the years, so it really wasn't an issue anymore. Even if she wanted more from him than a pat on the back or a promotion.

He wanted to take some woman he just met out for a date? Fine. She'd stew in silence and curse under her breath when he wasn't looking. Riza vowed long ago to help him reach the top and become Furhur. And in the wake of that promise, petty feelings like jealousy were pretty

much left by the wayside.

So the Lieutenant opened the door to her office, ready to start the day.

"Come on, Chief! You gotta help me out, here."

"No, I'm not telling you anything!"

Riza looked to see First Lieutenant Jean Havoc and Roy Mustang himself at the table talking. Jean looked desperate as usual, while her Colonel looked as confident and defiant as he always did. And the rest of her team? They were all sitting at the desk, listening to their conversation.

"Look, I want to please this girl," Jean said. "And the only way to do that is to perform the same way **you** did."

Roy rolled his eyes.

"I still don't get what you see in her," he said. "She seems pretty shallow I you ask me."

Jean frowned.

"Yeah, well maybe if you hadn't dumped her after one date and got to know her, you'd see that she's a nice girl," he replied.

The Colonel shrugged. "I doubt it."

Riza felt her heartbeat increasing the more she listened to this conversation. Once again, Havoc was begging Roy for his "playbook" of sexual moves, like he always did every time he got a new girlfriend.

And it made her realize one of the follies of being in love with a womanizer. Because while Riza loved Roy for who he was, she was still only human.

There was a part of her that wanted to know if he truly was gifted like he claimed. If he really was as passionate and determined in bed as he was out on the battlefield, or even in her dreams.

"Geez, some help you are."

Riza snapped out of thoughts to see Havoc pouting.

"Well excuse me for noticing your love life is **sorely** lacking," Roy replied.

"Well it wouldn't be if you'd just give me some pointers! Then maybe I could make them forget all about you!"

The Colonel looked his friend right in the eye. "And suppose I **do** tell you some of my moves, what do you think will happen? Surely, she's going to ask you who you got them from?"

Jean smirked. "Already taken care of; I'll just tell her I got some "advice" from a friend."

Roy smirked, looking rather impressed with his friend's answer. "Really? I'm guessing you already have an alias picked out?"

Jean sighed. "No. I haven't gotten that far, yet.

"Ooh! What about Ken Adams?" Sergeant Kain Feury suggested. "That's a good one."

"Nah," Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda replied. "Sounds too fake."

Riza smiled; looks like the day was off to a normal start. She closed the door and said "Trouble in paradise, Lieutenant Havoc?"

The men all turned to face her.

"As it turns out, Havoc's new girlfriend just happens to be someone I dated recently," Roy explained. "And he wants me to give him some pointers so he can impress her."

"I see…," she replied. "So he's afraid to sleep with her?"

"Unfortunately," Warrant Officer Vato Falman explained. "She can't stop talking about her date with Colonel Mustang, so he's a little nervous to be intimate with her."

Riza could sympathize. She'd seen Havoc try (and usually fail) to pick up girls at the bar with little, if any insecurity. But this was different; he seemed to really like this girl and he didn't want his first time with her to be a spectacular failure.

And while she'd only been with a few men in her lifetime, Riza had had her fair share of insecurity when it came to sexual intimacy. What if she wasn't good? What if he wasn't good? What if he thought she was lousy? These were all questions she was familiar with. And even if she hadn't felt them in a long time, she knew exactly where he was coming from.

So Riza turned to her friend and said "Lieutenant Havoc, do you like his girl?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Does she like you?"

"Yeah."

She smiled. "Then I think you should take a risk and sleep with her."

"That's easy for you to say," he whined. "She won't stop talking about how great the last time she had sex was! And unless I get some pointers, here, I'm screwed!-"

"Alright! Alright! I'll write some of them down for you, later!" Roy replied. "Now would you **stop** whining!?"

Jean smiled. "Really!? Oh, thank you, Mustang!"

Roy sighed. He straightened himself and shoved both hands in his pockets. "Yeah, whatever," he replied. "But I still think you're wasting your time. She wasn't even that good, to be honest."

Riza watched as Jean's attitude turned from adoring to enraged in about five seconds.

"WHAT!?" he screeched.

He went to strangle Roy as he walked away, only to be held back by the rest of their team. Riza frowned; she'd definitely be talking to the Colonel about his comment later, that's for sure.

"Now I hate to to do this to you so early in the morning, Lieutenant." She looked up to see Roy standing only a few feet away from her. "But it looks like we'll be heading over to the police station to talk with one of the detectives from a few nights ago."

"Do we finally have a lead?" she asked.

Their team had been tracking down a known serial killer for the last few few weeks, but so far they had no suspects.

"It appears that way," he replied.

He gave her a smile and placed his hand on her shoulder. "What do you say we get some coffee and head down to the police station?"

Riza froze. He was staring at her with kind eyes, caressing her shoulder with his hand and smiling at her. It took her back to her dream where he'd been so loving with her, so gentle.

"Something wrong?"

Riza snapped out of her thoughts to see Roy still staring at her. Only now, there was concern in his eyes.

"Oh, no, Sir. I'm just tired." She pretended to rub some sleep from her eye. "Hayate keeps waking me up at six in the morning."

Roy chuckled.

"That's probably why you should've left him with me." He took his hand off her shoulder. "I barely sleep, anyway. So he wouldn't have bothered me."

"If I had left him with you, you would have probably overworked him to exhaustion, by now," she replied.

The Colonel cringed. Riza didn't smile, but inside she was happy for saying that. It felt good knowing she could bruise Roy's ego when it got too inflated.

"Uh…Right…" He cleared his throat. "So, shall we get going?"

"You know the answer to that."

The duo walked out of the room together. Of course, the rest of their unit could hear Riza scolding their commanding officer from outside the room, berating him for that rude comment he'd said to Havoc earlier. But what really caught their attention was Havoc, himself.

He was giggling like a school girl.

"What's so funny, Lieutenant?" Feury asked

"Didn't you guys see the look on Hawkeye's face when Mustang touched her?"

The trio stared at him in confusion. Not that Jean cared. "It's pretty obvious she was dreaming about being with him again."

The End


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